


Pink

by autumnsolstice9



Series: Colors [5]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/F, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 15:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9130873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnsolstice9/pseuds/autumnsolstice9
Summary: Sansa feels the world through shades of pink.





	

**Author's Note:**

> for @GintokisGirl95 who requested Sansa+pink

Sansa is 3 years old when she stares down into pink face of the new babe, it’s dark hair a curly mess and eyes almost silver in the daylight.

“Her name is Arya,” her lady mother tells her, and though Sansa knows that this is her sister, she can’t help but look at the little girl and think she is a bastard. She has the same colorings as Jon Snow, and that is enough to make Sansa wary of the newest Stark member.

Even at three, Sansa knows that Jon Snow’s presence upsets her mother. Whenever her mother sees the boy, her face gets pinched like it does when she’s upset with Robb, but her eyes seem sad.

Once, she had caught her mother crying, her eyes rimmed with pink, wailing that it wasn’t fair that Jon Snow, the bastard boy, was in their life. Sansa had gone to her mother and tugged on her sleeve, pushing her face into Catelyn’s chest and holding her hand until the sobs stopped.

She’s never seen her mother cry again.

Looking at this babe, this Arya, all Sansa sees is her bastard brother, and she feels hot pink fear clutch her chest.

She will never let this child be like Jon Snow. She will never let this child hurt her mother.

***

When she is handed a direwolf pup, she immediately falls in love. “Her name is Lady,” she proudly pronounces, petting the soft fur.

Lady makes her feel pink, but different from when she was a child. This pink is soft, like the silk in her dresses. This is the pink she feels when she looks at her lord father and lady mother, the same pink that crawls into her skin when Septa Mordane compliments her.

This is the pink she calls love.

It feels light and comfortable, and it fits her like a glove. _Love,_ Sansa decides, _is something I was destined for._ After all, she has love in her chest that she releases in frenzies- whether it be a dance for her mother or a story for Bran when he is scared- she is full of it. Sansa loves Lady more than she has loved anything before, and leaves kisses on her pet direwolf that are an invisible pink, but she knows it is there.

When Lady is beheaded on the Kingsroad, Sansa screams until her throat is raw, feeling the pink that was Lady’s love cut through her body, leaving her, and disappearing with the sunset.

***

Joffrey is going to pardon her father for his treason, and Sansa’s heart bleeds pink for him. Cersei is a comforting presence by her side, and she feels so much love for these people who will let her father live that she cannot finds words to explain it.

Then Joffrey calls for Ser Ilyn to bring him her father’s head, and the world goes dark for a minute and then she is screaming, Cersei is shouting, and she knows she can’t handle to see her father die.

Her heart, which bled pink for Joffrey, is no longer pumping for him. Each pulse screams for her father, a tear-stained cry that he is innocent, that this doesn’t need to happen. Pink is pouring out of her in each tear, it is in the blush on her face, and it is all for her father.

When Ser Ilyn swings the sword, and Sansa feels all the pink love for her father form a puddle like her father’s blood. She feels empty, and then she feels nothing at all as she collapses.

***

For two years, Sansa feels nothing but blazing hot pink that demands vengeance. She hides it behind a timid smile and polite words, but her mind remembers the soft loving pink that was Lady, her father, Rickon, Bran, Robb, her mother, and yes, even Arya and Jon Snow.

She hates the world for taking that away from her. She hates the Lannisters for taking her innocence and leaving her to burn in the world, each day melting her flesh pink.

***

When she meets Margaery Tyrell, the world seems to slow down. Each day she spends with the girl is better than the last, and for once in her life she feels as if she is living in a song. Margaery may not be a knight, but she is smart and her words save Sansa better than any sword ever had.

They are in the gardens, walking side by side, when Margaery hands Sansa a pink rose. “I want you to be happy, Sansa. Whether that is with a boy, or nobody at all, or even a girl, I want you to you to feel safe.”

Safe. The thought of it makes her want to laugh. Such a thing does not exist- the world is full of snakes and she may be a Stark, but names are not armor. “Lady Margaery, I appreciate your sentiment, but there is nowhere in the world that is truly safe, no one who can truly protect me.”

Margaery grabs her hand, and the contact makes Sansa feel pink, but she does not act on her emotions. Even in the gardens there are spies. “I could keep you safe,” Margaery says, her voice earnest and strong, “I would never let them hurt you. The prince values my opinion.”

Sansa doesn’t want to put anymore hope in people- she is so weary of being let down and disappointed. She stares at Margaery’s pink lips and feels a pink so soft she did not know it existed, and she decides to be careless. She puts her lips on Margaery’s, gentle and full of words she cannot explain.

Her kiss says that she is tired of fear, that she has been drained of so much love, that she is scared to love Margaery because people who love her, people who protect her, they all end up dead. When Sansa feels the gentle rose kiss back, she knows that Margaery understands.

“No one can protect me,” Sansa breathes out when they part, her voice full of lovely pink sorrow.

Margaery gives her another kiss, and in the space between their lips she whispers, “I can try.”

“For you, Sansa, I would try most anything.”

***

She keeps going on walks in the garden with Margaery, both of them exchanging kisses every chance they get.

For the first time in years, Sansa’s heart is filled with the gossamer pink she called love.

***

She leaves King’s Landing during Joffrey’s wedding feast. His face is turning pink as he chokes, and despite the horror she feels she can’t help but think that pink has never looked so beautiful.

She hopes Margaery will forgive her for leaving, and as she is rushing away from the commotion she catches the girls knowing doe eyes.

‘Go,’ Margaery mouths to her, and Sansa has never felt more love for the girl than she does in that moment, because they both know had she asked, Sansa would have never left King’s Landing.

The pink of the sunset that falls on the horizon she watches on the boat taking her away reminds her of freedom. She clutches a rose in her hand, vowing to never forget the pink that Margaery Tyrell blossomed in her barren heart.

***

Sansa is Alayne Stone and living in the Eyrie when she hears the news that Cersei burned down the Sept of Baelor with wildfire, killing everyone inside, including Margaery.

She is so used to grief that when she Lord Baelish tells her, she does not cry. Instead she nods her head and goes to her room, screaming into a pillow.

She thinks that she should throw herself out the Moondoor. There is no one left that she loves. Her family is dead, there is no chance for her to regain Winterfell, she has and still is being used as a pawn for some game she wants no part of, and the woman she loves is dead.

_Yes,_ Sansa thinks, _I should collapse into the Moondoor. I can make it look like an accident. Then I won’t be a part of anyone’s game._

Like a woman possessed, she heads out her room and towards the Moondoor. It is undoubtedly open- her young cousin loves to ‘make people fly’- and when she gets there she spends what feels like hundreds of hours just staring out it. _I should jump,_ she thinks, but she cannot do it. _I will not let them destroy all the Starks. I am the last one left, and I will not give up._ She remembers the vow she made to remember Margaery’s love, and she decides to use it to fuel her each day.

When she heads back to her room, she hits a wall, turning her hand pink and full of pain. Then, she begins to plan her escape to freedom.

***

She leaves the Eyrie on an unremarkable day. She is taking a break from riding with her ‘father’, Lord Baelish, somewhere away from their tower high in the mountains. They had been riding on the Kingsroad for days, heading towards the sea, when she sees some wild pink roses, and remembers Margaery.

Sansa had been right when she told the girl that no one could protect her. Only she could protect herself.

She glances at Lord Baelish, noting how there were no guards. Sansa knows this must mean he is scheming, and whatever plan he has she must be a part of, otherwise he would have left her with Robert Arryn. “Wherever are we going, Petyr?” she asks, her voice sickly sweet.

He turns towards her, giving a smile that held all the secrets in the world. “Why, my dear, we are heading to a ship. There is a gift on board for you. Don’t you fear, I’ll keep you safe.”

She gives a convincing laugh, forcing it out of her chest, and wraps her arms around Lord Baelish in a hug. “Thank you, Petyr, you are so kind to me.”

He strokes her hair, and she can feel him inhale her scent. _No one can protect me. Only I can protect myself._

With her arms still around him, she pulls a knife from her sleeve and stabs his back, once, twice, and then a third time for good measure. When she moves away from him, he is staring at her in horror before collapsing on the ground. “You must understand,” she tells him, her words pink with freedom, “I’ve learned that no one can protect me, and I refuse to be a pawn in any more games.”

She can picture Margaery in her head, proud and pink and perfect, and it pushes her forward. “I am not Alayne Stone. I am Sansa Stark, and I am done being a little girl. Goodbye, Lord Baelish.”

Then she grabs her horse and their belongings, riding off towards the sea and paying passage for a ship to Meereen. She doesn’t care where she ends up, as long as she is away from people and their pitiful game of power.

When she arrives in Meereen and hears of the queen, the Mother of Dragons, who is going to destroy the great houses of Westeros, she goes immediately to the pyramid where the queen lives.

She does not expect to see Tyrion Lannister and Varys there as well, standing next to the queen, but Sansa no longer cares. Her heart is singing a song of vengeance, pink and powerful, and she curtsies before the queen.

“Your Majesty, I am Sansa of House Stark. I come to you alone after escaping my captor, and beg you to allow me refuge and stay with you in Meereen,” she says, her voice strong.

The queen is a vision of beauty, her violet eyes and white hair gleaming in the sunlight, and Sansa realizes that this girl must be a Targaryen. She should be scared, she should be angry, but she isn’t. They both want to destroy those that caused them harm.

“Why should I allow a Stark to join me?” the Targaryen queen questions, and Sansa feels her smile grow feral like a wolf, full of hot pink anger.

“You Majesty,” Sansa begins, fire in her veins, “our houses may have had their differences in the past, but I am just a girl who has grown up alone in the world. You must surely know what that is like.” At this, the Targaryen queen’s face grows dark, though Sansa knows it is not directed at her but all those who have done her wrong. She continues, letting her pink rage begin to speak. “Those houses in Westeros have humiliated me, taken my land, and murdered my family. I want to see them tore down.”

The queen’s smile is lethal. “I know all too well how it is to grow up a girl in a world run by men. And I, too, know how it feels to lose those you love. Sansa Stark, I believe both our hearts demand vengeance, and that is what we will receive. Rise, and join me as we bring those who harmed us to their knees.”  
When Sansa swears fealty to the queen, who she learns is named Daenerys, she sees her own pink anger reflected in violet eyes.

***

After the battle, Daenerys and her army emerges victorious. The North had joined the fight, rising up when Sansa called to their aid, and helped in destroying the Lannisters.

She is given Winterfell to rule, the new queen telling her that any woman can rule, and that included her. The pink in her mouth feels like hope when she spots the familiar castle in the distance, but she squashes the feeling down. Hope had never gotten her anything before.

It is only months later, when Bran returns, Rickon in tow, that Sansa lets the pink ribbon of hope tie itself to her. She cries and hugs them and promises to never part from them, letting love wash over her.

When she gets word from Jon Snow on the Wall that Arya is alive and with him, that she is hurt but alive, Sansa rejoices.

She knows it is not the happy ending that she hoped for, that she still hurts inside and will never easily trust anyone, but she looks at Bran and Rickon smile inside their ghost of a home and feels peacefully pink.

It is not all fixed, but for now, it is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> i actually enjoyed writing sansa more than expected during this which is weird bc i thought i would hate it since she's one of my not-fav characters but c'est la vie


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